Free Ebook Emotional Sobriety: From Relationship Trauma to Resilience and Balance, by Tian Dayton
Free Ebook Emotional Sobriety: From Relationship Trauma to Resilience and Balance, by Tian Dayton
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Emotional Sobriety: From Relationship Trauma to Resilience and Balance, by Tian Dayton
Free Ebook Emotional Sobriety: From Relationship Trauma to Resilience and Balance, by Tian Dayton
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Review
'A holistic approach to healing the mind, body, and spirit--which is the essence of healthy recovery. . . . An essential guide to healing the hole in the soul, the hurt in all of us."--William Cope Moyers, Author of Broken
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About the Author
Tian Dayton, Ph.D., has a doctorate in clinical psychology and is Director of Program Development and Staff Training for the Caron Foundation in New York City. Dr. Dayton is a nationally renowned speaker and workshop facilitator and the author of fifteen books on self-help and psychological issues. She is a frequent guest expert on MSNBC, CNN, NBC, Montel, John Walsh, Rikki Lake, Geraldo, and others.
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Product details
Paperback: 288 pages
Publisher: HCI; 1 edition (December 10, 2007)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0757306098
ISBN-13: 978-0757306099
Product Dimensions:
5.4 x 0.9 x 8.4 inches
Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.6 out of 5 stars
67 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#58,183 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I'd give this book a 5 star review due to the depth of research the author has done about emotions, substance abuse, and what she calls "relationship trauma." However, I must warn you, I'm listening to the audible book as well as have the kindle version and the reader mispronounces a lot of words( she pronounces amygdala as "amy-glada" and pronounces dissociation as "diss-association." Obviously the reader didn't look up the words in the dictionary so she pronounces the words completely wrong.
I am a Ph.D. candidate of Marriage & Family Therapy and work as a Marriage and Family Therapist Intern. I have run psychotherapy groups for several years already with addicts and their families, and I've been trained in multiple therapy modalities (EFT, SFBT, Gestalt, CBT, MI). This is a book that I wish I had written.Even though I posted this review nine months ago, I continue to recommend this book to both my colleagues and friends. I still have not found any books as comprehensive and balanced, as this book offers the latest research and integrates a spectrum of our field's freshest relationship theories into one book. She helps us move closer toward a "Grand Unified Theory" of therapy and integrates attachment theory, attachment injuries, updates in the codependency literature, research on emotions, PTSD, ADHD, grief, depression, anxiety, and more, and she makes it applicable to the lay person as well as to the therapist.This book can help clients understand how therapists can help, while giving therapists an updated look at how research on attachment theory can be integrated with the fields of substance abuse. For example, a lot of people still treat substance abuse using old models, using cognitive-only approaches, outdated notions of codependency, and overlooking the role of the brain, emotions, biology, trauma and the family system. She validates the newer approaches of using more experiential, emotionally-focused and systemic approaches with addicts and families and gives us clear language to explain why it works.Dr. Dayton stops us before we "throw the baby out with the bathwater." The pop psychology concept of "codependency" was popular in the addiction recovery field, but it was criticized mainly because there is little or no scientific evidence to support basic tenets of codependency theory, it became so watered down that it was useless, it seemed that every behavior was codependent, and was generally used as a derogatory label that tended to apply more often to women. Thus, Dr. Dayton prefers to talk about "relationship trauma."Nevertheless, Dr. Dayton provides her own definition of codependency, but links it to the latest research on adult attachment. You may also be interested in some recent research on codependency & attachment styles I came across by Whiteleather & Doumas (2004). [...] Using the four quadrant model of attachment styles, they correlated the concept of "codependency" with the anxious/preoccupied attachment style.Dr. Dayton defines codependency using an integration of attachment theory and Bowen family systems theory which I agree with and couldn't have said better: "Codependency, I feel, is fear-based and is a predictable set of qualities and behaviors that grow out of feeling anxious and therefore hypervigilant in our intimate relationships. It is also reflective of an incomplete process of individuation....Though codependency seems to be about caretaking or being overly attuned to the other person, it is really about trying to fend off our own anxiety." (p. 150-151) I believe that both codependency AND counterdependency are maladaptive behaviors used to manage anxiety about relationships--both are terms that I'm seeing appear more often recently. Dr. Dayton believes that these anxious or avoidant behaviors are the result of attachment injuries, or relationship traumas as she calls it.She EVEN shows how humor and psychodrama are healing, both of which I believe are powerful therapeutic agents. She describes the theories of humor and how laughter is healing, when I thought I was the only therapist who was interested in that. Yeesh! She got (almost) everything that I feel is important, including spirituality.If I was to write the next reincarnation of her book, I would want to include more Christian spirituality, but that's only because my undergraduate degree is in theology. My ONLY minor criticism was when she connected the Greek concept of "agape" love with romantic love (page 122) and said that it was too "unstable" for the foundation of a family. I don't believe Dr. Dayton truly understands what agape love means. Agape is by definition an unconditional decision to love somebody despite feelings, and therefore is the MOST stable form of love, something we need more of in our relationships. In the Bible, "agape" is used to describe God's unconditional, unmoving love for us despite the things we do wrong.The only other concern, which is not a bad thing, is that perhaps Dr. Dayton tries to do too much in her book! Whole books have been written on the topics for each chapter, so that she can't dive in too deep on any of them. Her book is monumental in putting all of this into one book. But, at least I can highly recommend this book as a good integration of a broad spectrum of theories for the professional who works with relationship traumas and helping people become more emotionally aware, as well as an advanced overview for the general audience.
This is an incredibly informative and transformative book. Unfortunately, the author gets off to a bad start in the first few chapters as she immediately delves into the neurophysiology of relational trauma, important but not the first topic I'd use to start. I was greatly rewarded for my persistence though as her message is fresh, succinct, and tremendously enlightening to anyone who has lived through dysfunctional family systems, alcoholic or otherwise. Her chapter on resilience was worth the price of the book alone. Highly recommended.
This is probably worth a read if one suffered trauma and abuse as a child. The author made some good points. The book just happened to not fit my life, as I never suffered as a child. Therefore, I could not relate to a lot of the author's comments and suggestions.
Excellent information on what drives all compulsive/addictive behavior and how anyone can learn to manage their feelings in healthy ways. I'm a therapist, but I think the book is written in a way that is easy for any teen or adult to learn from.
This was exactly what I needed, it is informative and easy to understand. This great book touched on every aspect of what I am working through in recovery. I will read it again and again. I have and will recommend it to anyone who is struggling with healing the past
The answers to so many questions about details of the problems ACOA's are mezmerised by. Not enough stars. Invaluable.
I learned so much, I will read this again and again. I'm pumped to learn more and grow more emotionality sober. Eye opening
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